"Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you."
--Nietzsche


And I keep telling myself that I have become a monster.

i took the block off of aim.
ill stay signed in all the time now.

show me a sign.

convo with mother

idk if im dealing with more depression or pms this time.

why wats wrong

idk still sad, i just gotta get over it.

makes me sad for u to be sad

well breaking all those hearts finally caught up to me and karma is getting me good.
luckily i have some really great friends here to help

try to think of it like this, what is he was where ryan's ex is that would hurt so it could be sooo much worse

i dont like thinking of that

i know but i thought it might help by putting things into perspective

i already thought about that but it just makes me think i need to be with him in case something like that did happen

another night of pretending, holding the tears back, and forcing the smiles.
faking the adoration, loosing new moments with the ones stuck in my head and
blocking out all of the good in front of me.
they told me to just cross him out of my life.

will they ever understand?

its like suffocating.

We could..

But we can't.

She takes the cake.

"AH! How cliche is that?! A cupcake birthday cake."
Woooooooow. LMFAO.

"there is always one person who you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it always happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. You will remember having conversations with this person that never actually happened. You will recall sexual trysts with this person that never technically occurred. This is because the individual who embodies your personal definition of love does not really exist. The person is real, and the feelings are real–but you create the context. And context is everything. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else, and theyre often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else."
-Chuck Klosterman.

My manager asked me a million question about the cigar burn on my wrist.
Thnx! Mega props to you, sir.
For catching me off guard, fck.

And MJ's "Remember The Time" just now coming up on shuffle.
REALCUTE, Michael.




Can you feel the heartbreak in the room?


--

Movie Pick #4: Lost in Translation

We were lost in translation.
I wanted to cry so much harder for the ending...